Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
did i just pee glitter
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
