Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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