he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
