her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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