AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
