I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
