My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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