She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
