she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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