escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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