He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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