I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
