help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
