that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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