Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
