drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
