So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Randomize
