this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
