Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
