i just wanna soil my oats bro
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
