what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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