Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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