Your tits are I can't wait for
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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