If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
