4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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