Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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