I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
