i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
