If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
