i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
