I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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