how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
