Too much gin, very little bucket
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
