did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
