Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You can't just leave with hair like that
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
