Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
