Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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