No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
