So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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