Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
ttyl tear gas
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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