i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
