Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
