You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
