trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
