Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
