Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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