so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just want nice things and good sex
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
