Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
