i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
