hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
i believe in u and ur pee
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
