Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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