I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
