I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize