If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
