There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Someone shit on the floor
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
