I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
