Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
