New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
