Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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