Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She even gives head with a lisp.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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