lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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