he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
