My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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