Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
