I want to stick my p in your. b.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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