Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
