I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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