On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
