it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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