The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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