1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
