as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
