I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
