Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize